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“We are going up!” he said, his face creasing in laughter, the sparkle in his eyes raising my pulse as he dance around me, coat tails swirling. “Up in the sky.” he cried in his sing song voice, waving his hat in the air “To fly with the birds, dance on the clouds and play with the stars!” He grasped my hands together in his and kissed them, our eyes met in a breathless moment, he paused to kiss my lips, giggles bubbling across my mouth and then he was off once more, excitement bursting from every step as he walked towards the flying machine.

As soon as he was out of my reach, away from my grasp my heart went cold. Fear drizzled it’s chill down my neck and shoulders and I clasped my coat firmly around my shoulders against the sudden chill. It didn’t help.

He waved enthusiastically at me from the cockpit, pulling down his goggles and nodding at the pilot, several men rushed in to pull the chocks out and start the propeller and then, hesitantly, bumpily the plane began to taxi along the run way, taking my love dangerously away from me. Rooted to the spot, frozen by a panic I could not shake, I watched him take off and explore the world he so longed for.

I stood there for a week, well, that’s how it seemed to me, watching this little gray speck in the sky, climbing and swooping. And I heard myself wonder, over and over again, how could I live with this fear, loving him as I did, every time he left me to fulfill his dream, every time he left me to fly.

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